My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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