is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
