the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
