Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
