see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
