apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
