So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
3pm strippers are depressing
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
