I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
