Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Houston, we have a blender
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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