I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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