We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
