no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
