it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
