So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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