Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I believe in your delicious
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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