Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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