I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just found a bag of teeth...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
