He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
