I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hippo gnu deer
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
