I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize