Screwed.edu
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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