i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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