Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
