I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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