I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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