I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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