her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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