kristin has been a bad kristin
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
