the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
