i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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