I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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