Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
