Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
