I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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