the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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