after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
