I swear she didn't look like that last week.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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