I showed him my bush... on skype.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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