Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
