We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
