Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
