I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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