walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize