My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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