It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
