Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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