I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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