just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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