just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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