scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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