Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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