Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
