but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
