She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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