I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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