David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
