I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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