Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I enjoy the company of your penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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