How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
