All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have already put on my inside pants.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
