I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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