let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
