this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
