Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
