You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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